⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I think I blacked out during DJ Salad Barf’s set and woke up emotionally hydrated.
10/10 would hallucinate again."
— @Beats4Breakfast
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Was this real? Was I real?
Did the bass drop or did I just fall down? Either way, life-changing."
— Lindsey R. (possibly still at the MoodJuice tent)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Lost one shoe, found inner peace. SMOKEY 2049’s fog machine set off a fire drill in my heart."
— user28292 (posted via Roaming WiFi by Todd™)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"The porta-potties were just vibes and suggestion, but I still felt spiritually cleansed."
— DJ ToeJam (not booked, still performed)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Someone ate Chonk Yogurt and turned into a cloud. I love this fake festival."
— Anonymous, currently floating
⭐️⭐️
"My wristband didn’t scan. There was nothing to scan."
— KaleFromAccounting
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"They said the stages weren’t real, but I definitely crowd-surfed somewhere. What happened?"
— @DropGoblinSupreme
⭐️⭐️⭐️
"It was like Coachella, if Coachella was programmed by a sleep-deprived AI in a haunted warehouse."
— FestivalCritic72
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"The music touched my soul and the porta potties motivated me to keep dancing. I finally stopped crying.
— Zoe from Socks for the Drop™
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I cried during the opening silence. DJ Phantom Step never showed up. Beautiful."
— SpiritualBass420
⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I thought this was a farmer’s market. Left with glowsticks and emotional damage."
— @CarrotQueen88
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Was trying to do my taxes and somehow ended up in a mosh pit with a guy holding a blow-up alligator. 4 stars because the beats slapped."
— Tina, probably not real
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I asked where the bathroom was and got handed a plush toad and a riddle. Honestly? It worked."
— LostButVibing
⭐️
"Tried to order fries. Got handed a broken glow stick and a sock. No explanation."
— Frank (just hungry)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This was so much better than Fyre Festival. They admitted they weren't trying in advance. No regrets."
— Jean-Claude Van BAM!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"I thought Rhythm Rush was a type of medication. Either way, the anxiety flasks really helped"
— @WellnessButMakeItBass
