❓Is Rhythm Rush a real festival?
- No. Rhythm Rush is a 100% fake, 1000% unforgettable event powered by delusion, glitter, and basslines that exist only in dreams and extremely annoying group chats.
❓Can I buy tickets?
- Absolutely! And by “tickets,” we mean imaginary ones infused with fictional legitimacy.
- Note: All ticket tiers include zero entry, zero refunds, and 100% vibes.
❓Where is the festival located?
- Never Never Land: AKA the place where your childhood dreams meet your mid-life crisis
- Geographically speaking: nowhere.
- Spiritually: everywhere.
- Technically: no comment.
❓Is there a dress code?
- Yes. Please wear something very uncomfortable and completely unexplainable. Also, if you don't glow in the dark, you're doing it wrong.
- Bonus points for fanny packs, combat boots, and fishnet everything.
❓What should I bring?
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1 reusable container (for tears or confetti)
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2 towels (can be used as a makeshift curtain when the porta-potty doors fall off...again)
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1 portable fan to dry your emotional residue and clear the glitter fog
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0 expectations
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1 emergency rave flute (trust us)
❓Can I bring my pet?
Of course! But only if your pet:
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Can be carried
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Understands consent
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Wears protective rave goggles
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❓What if I get lost?
- If you find yourself lost, simply follow the trail of MoodJuice™ caps, whispered dubstep beats, or the guy dancing with the alligator near the Confetti Zone.
- If none of that helps, close your eyes, spin three times, and scream into the void. Security might appear. Or you might be pulled on stage by DJ Salad Barf. Either way, exciting.
❓Who’s headlining?
Our most notable (possibly fake) headliners include:
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DJ Phantom Step (still hasn’t shown up, still iconic)
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Boop Daddy Supreme
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Wub-Zombie
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DJ Moist Nugget
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☠️🌈🧃 (name pronounced by shrugging)
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Check the lineup for more artists who legally don’t exist.
❓Will there be food?
Absolutely. You’ll find… something at the Food & Drink Mirage Tent™, including:
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VibeNachos™
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Ambient Tapas
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Toad Curry (not FDA approved)
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Hydration Loops (don’t ask)
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All ingredients sourced locally from your grandma's bomb shelter.
❓Is this safe?
Define “safe.”
Rhythm Rush has never had a single reported injury, mostly because it has never technically occurred.
However, side effects may include:
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Glitter in places you didn't know you had pores
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Glowstick Wrist Fatigue
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Unshakable belief that the guy in the pig costume is your long lost uncle
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Crippling joy
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❓Who is behind Rhythm Rush?
A coalition of data analysts, retired EDM mascots, and one random chick named Natallie with a fever dream of someday owning a rave llama.
❓What if it rains?
- Then the vibes will simply get wetter.
- Rhythm Rush will operate during excessive rain storms, blistering sunshine, or the rapture.
- Our Weather Management Team™ (a guy with a leaf blower and a dream) is trained to dance in literally all conditions.
❓Can I volunteer?
Yes! Volunteers are essential to making nothing happen smoothly.
Roles include:
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Imaginary Ticket Scanner
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Sock Recovery Agent
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Vibe Integrity Monitor
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MoodJuice Anxiety Flask Taste Tester
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Invisible VIP Bouncer (must supply your own sweaty pig suit)
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Apply now. Training lasts forever.
❓Is there a lost and found?
Yes, but it only accepts emotional baggage.
Located next to the Sip 'n’ Cry Tent, the Lost & Found contains:
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47 unmatched socks
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1 functioning rave flute
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12 broken glow sticks full of ambition
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A single text that says “U up?”
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❓Will there be cell service?
- Rhythm Rush runs exclusively on WiFi by Todd™, a man walking around with a hotspot taped to his chest.
- Service may vary depending on Todd’s mood, cardio endurance, and sun exposure.
- Look for the sign that says WiFi by TOOD.
❓Are there real bathrooms?
We prefer the term “conceptual relief zones.”
Our porta-absurdas are:
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Lined with motivational quotes
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Fragrance-enhanced with MoodJuice™ mist
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Protected by a silent disco curtain of privacy, and occasionally towels.
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❓Can I get a refund?
You want a refund…
…for an event that never happened
…that you never paid for
…with performers who don’t exist
…in a location that isn’t real?
No. Just No.
❓Is this kid-friendly?
Only if your kid is emotionally prepared for:
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Bassline-induced self-discovery
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Accidental enlightenment
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A puppet named DJ Kidnapper who has a serious problem with eye contact
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Otherwise, maybe get a sitter.
❓Is there a theme?
- Yes: Chaos meets cardio meets cosmic delusion. Dress accordingly.
❓How long does the festival last?
Time is a construct.
But officially:
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The festival starts when you say it does
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The festival ends whenever DJ Phantom shows up (never)
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❓Can I bring outside food or drink?
- Only if it’s shaped like a triangle and blessed by a golden dragon.
❓Can I sleep at the festival?
Yes—our Dream Camping Zone™ offers:
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Pillow fights with overworked volunteers
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Zero tents
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Complimentary existential crisis hammocks
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A chance to share a sleeping bag with your future self
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